I think it is the nature of most musicians to feel unsatisfied. It's easy to feel like there is so much more you can do, more you can accomplish... more shows, more fans, more likes on facebook, more cd projects. This feeling of dissatisfaction can become really frustrating. Lately, I've been contemplating getting back to playing solo music. (I've been very fortunate to play in The And Band with some really great musicians and friends and it's been pretty easy to keep the ball rolling when there are other people involved.) But for ten years I played solo, driving all over New England at all hours of the night to play gigs. Then I took a few years off. Getting back into this scene has been really frustrating. I feel like the game has changed and I don't really know the rules and it seems like I'm right back where I started.
But today I remembered how this whole "rock and roll" thing began. It was really just a little challenge I gave myself to see what I could do, how good I could write and sing and to see where this crazy ride would take me. I never expected to play music for more then a few weeks, let alone a decade. When I was in high school I used to have this T-shirt that said "it's not the destination, it's the journey that counts." I wore that t-shirt until it fell apart! I know it's a really cheesy saying but if you are a musician and you constantly focus on the destination you can drive yourself crazy. Some of my fondest memories of this musical journey actually have little to do with music. It's been the people I've met and the places I've been that I've enjoyed the most. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more gigs or even a hint as to how to go about getting them but lately I've been writing really honest songs and that is very satisfying even if I only have one gig on my calendar and a few fans.